Travelzoo vacation

The very best things about summertime-cross-country road tripping are, in order of ascending wonderfulness:

1. Windows down, music up
2. Sunrises
3. Sunsets
4. “World’s Largest Artichoke” and/or UFO sightings
5. That thing where you stick your hand out the window and undulate with the wind
6. Car karaoke
7. Books on tape
8. Snacks

You heard me. From the redwood forests to the gulfstream waters, this land was made for me and a bag of Bugles. (And Twizzlers Pull ‘n’ Peels. And jalapeno string cheese. And In-N-Out. And Dairy Queen. Etc.) Cruising Americana is an incredibly majestic experience, bursting with sights to be seen and adventures to be had. So why is it that for some reason, I can’t seem to fully take in the beauty and wonder of our vast, glorious, ever-changing landscape without a mouthful of kettle corn to top it all off?

Dieting on vacation is hard. Whether it’s a long drive, a business trip, a European holiday or a week at an all-inclusive resort (especially that one), it’s almost impossible to keep with your healthy eating and weight loss goals when you step out of your regular day-to-day.

And boy, am I feeling the pressure this time. As the newbie author of the just-released — the only hilarious diet book ever — I’m about to hit the road for a 21-day cross-country book tour in a rented minivan. This is fantastically exciting, but I can’t very well read passages aloud from a diet book looking like I swallowed a Pizza Hut on my way to the Barnes & Noble. So. I’ve got to practice what I preach.

Here’s what I’m vowing to do to hold myself accountable — calorie accountable — while I’m away on tour:

1. Stay connected! So long as I have Wi-Fi, I have control. Almost every fast food joint peppered along the interstate will have its nutritional information posted online. Check out the menus while the mile markers roll by, and aim for low calorie counts — breakfast under 250, lunch under 350, dinner under 550. A few good ideas start at Subway — their salad options range from 60 calories to 230. That’s peanuts! (But don’t add peanuts. Those have a lot of calories.)